chris williamson taught me 3 things - changed my life
Without a ruler to do it against you won’t make crooked straight. Seneca
As the curtains went up and the lights turned on the only though I had was "I can't believe he's a real person". When you have listened to someone's voice and seen them on a screen for hundreds of hours. Seeing them in real life is surreal. Like - look - there he is. human size. ten meters away from me - standing up.
I'm talking about Chris Williamson of course. Fellow Brit and podcaster extraordinaire.
Here before you are the 3 biggest things he taught me.
Btw since this was his last stop on the tour, it may never get another performance. This is exclusive stuff.
The 1 Fantasy Holding You Back
I use to work as a remote appointment setter. It's a sales role. High-ticket sales - calling people that responded to the Facebook ads. Sending them to the closer. Who would close them on a 10k coaching package. I had to do 200 dials a day.
We would have this 1 hour meeting at the beginning of the shift to pump us up. I'd leave feeling motivated - ready to rip some dials.
I'd end up procrastinating on my 200 dials though. I'd let social media get in the way. I'd feel motivated but not do the work.
i got passed over for the promotion to the closer position (rightfully so). so i quit a few weeks later. it's been over a year. if i had kept going I would have been successful in the field by now. but i quit - regardless of motivation i had not built the discipline. the discipline to keep dialing even when I didn't feel like it
Here's the other side of this coin.
A month ago my long term girlfriend broke up with me. I spent the last month wanting to rot in bed. that ugly gen z sadness.
I still went to the fucking gym.
Did I want to go? Fuck no, I met her in that same gym. Back when I was power leveling my cold approach skills approaching 20 girls a day.
But I've been consistent with this habit for 3 years now. The discipline - The habits were already built. Plus I'm not getting skinnier after a breakup.
In one scenario I felt motivated, but failed to do what was necessary.
In the other - I felt unmotivated, but I was still crushing it.
So who cares about motivation. This idea that you must feel a certain way before doing something. You only feel motivated after you start. Only after you've stacked a few wins under your belt.
It's more reliable to start small and build up to then get motivated. Progressive overload. Don't wait for lighting to strike.
When you're losing or when there is something you have to do but you have not done it - you won't feel very motivated. But that's when you need to do the thing the most.
This is not some trite discipline over motivation point. It's a fundamental shift in your understanding of how motivation works
It's not
Have a goal -> feel motivation -> start doing the thing
It's
Have a goal -> start doing the thing (however small writing one sentence is still progress if you have never written before) -> feel motivation. Repeat cycle the next day.
So you've got to start before you feel motivation. You can’t do the amount of work your ego wants you to do. If you could you would have by now. So make it smaller.
2 hour workout -> 15 min full body session
writing for 4 hours -> writing for 30 mins
200 cold calls -> Try 15
These are not small wins. Allow yourself to celebrate. The win is consistency.
The guy who hit 60KG for the first time in bench has hit as much of a PR as the guy who's hit's 140KG.
(btw to you can play this comparison game to death. If your business reaches 1 million profit Bezos will still laugh at that number from his mega yacht).
You might feel weird for celebrating this type of thing. But aren't in the schoolyard anymore. No ones going to mock you for celebrating a win. Those kids are going to be broke anyways.
Take the thing you know you should be doing. That you keep castigating yourself for not doing. lower the bar. celebrate that win. stack consistency. feel motivated. And finally stop watching Andrew Tate videos for motivation.
In MMA you don't feel tired when your winning. Deep into the 3rd round if your piecing him up - you got plenty of motivation. Motivation is not what get's you started, it's nitro fuel that kicks in when you already at speed.
Go stack some wins.
Why You Still Want To Call Mummy For Help
Chris was at a guests house. This guest was someone who he had idolized. The guest asked if he could get a yogurt and eat it before the Podcast. Chris obliged. As the guest opened the yogurt he licked the lid. And at that moment the guest became human.
Most people think that they are the only one flying by the seat of their pants. They are the only impostors. Everyone else has played the tutorial - which they skipped. and now they face the consequences of their hubris.
There is no tutorial. No one has it all figured out. Your hero's just got really good at a few things. You can do it to. It's a matter of putting in the reps.
For the longest time I waited for permission to do things. we all do it. it's our 18 years in the educational production line. having to raise our hands to take a piss has done a number on us.
I realize now - I can do whatever I want. There's no adult who has everything figured out. Everyone has willed their way into getting what they want. So I am writing this publication. I'm not a Psychologist. I have not mastered my focus (yet). I am a dude figuring it out.
It can be hard to see yourself in the same category as these people you idolize. But realizing that no one has it figured out let's you try despite your confusion.
Your idols are human. They lick yogurt lids.
so do the big and scary thing. and never ask for permission.
The British accent convinced me
Imagine you're in Oxford. Students bustle along cobbled streets. Each building they pass is a piece of history.
Inside one of the many wood paneled pubs. Where you can find more than one person reading a book. And unlike other pubs - in other cities in England - no one will call them a tosser for it.
Inside this pub you find Richard Dawkins and Chris Williamson.
Chris is making a tough choice - he has two good career options in front of him. he can't do both. Which to pick? We've been there - it's agonizing.
Richard leaned back in his chair with a cigar on his lips and said "Chris, in life you have to choose your regrets". Sometimes - very smart people drop wisdom, like we do loose change.
We think that if we choose the "right thing" we can feel certain about it. Our doubts will vanish. We will feel no regret. Uncertainty is not curable, it's a condition of life.
There is no path that leave you without regret. There is always a what if. You won’t ever get to point where you never wonder. You’ve got to make peace about what you are regretting.
Life is a trade off.
Move to the big city -> Less time with your parents
Switch jobs -> Could you have gotten promoted in your old one
Write on Substack -> Could use the time to make YouTube videos instead
Everything is a trade off.
Does this mean we should not make decisions because there is no right answer. No that's stupid.
This is an empowering lesson. You can choose what you don't mind losing to get what you really want.
Trade off what matters less - for what matters more.
Even if you choose the best choice, there will be some good stuff from the second best choice that you miss out on. If you accept some regret is part of life. It allows you to commit to the choices you have made. This let’s you regret less and live more.
This is not to say that you should not put any thoughts into your decisions. Remember every choice you make, including doing nothing, will have regrets. Think hard about which ones you are willing to bear.
If you don't know which regrets you are willing to have. Have a good long think about your values. If you don’t know what you value, society will program you with the social default. This is why most middle aged people are depressed.
And try not to make any irreversible decisions till you figure some of that out.
Ask yourself what might you regret if you stay the same. Is it better than the regret of change? Being a fearful person is the scariest thing. Because you never try anything new. Don't be afraid make purposeful choices and own them. So long as you understand the trade off you are making.
So there you go that's what he taught me. Some of it at least. It's a little different from what I usually write about but I was so excited about the event I had to write about it to ingrain what I learned. comment your thoughts below.
Lock in,
Lucca